yearbooks...

with only a few days left of school, yearbooks are out.

we've already exchanged yearbooks and written in them...

I wrote about our memories, our good times together...
writing as a friend, I told you how I like you and all the reasons why...
also in a friendly manner, I told you that I loved you and would miss you...
I told you that you'd better not be a stranger...

you wrote about our good times, all of your silliness...
you reminded me what a dork you were...
as a friend, you wrote how you loved me and would miss me...
you wrote, "to my one and only dance partner"...
you reminded me that you weren't too far away and told me to be sure to visit you...

your reaction to my words was really sweet...
your words made me happy...

thank you...

the future...

he's going to UCLA.
I will be in Irvine.
there's exactly 33 days until we graduate.
what then?
will it pass as another phase of our life, only to be looked back on?
will it mean anything anymore?
will I feel anything if I no longer see him?
will it still hurt?
will he remember me?
am I ready to move on?
will I have to?

I hate that I feel all of this...
our futures hold such opposing views, how can it ever work?
he wants to find a wife, have kids, and work a 9-5 job.
he knows what he wants, and he'll succeed in getting it.
I want to see the world, to change it...
I have no desire to settle down any time in the near future.
I know what I want, and I'll succeed in getting it.

so why do I care so much about him?
he'd be happier without me.
we're better off as friends.
we'll always be, better off as friends...