the future...

he's going to UCLA.
I will be in Irvine.
there's exactly 33 days until we graduate.
what then?
will it pass as another phase of our life, only to be looked back on?
will it mean anything anymore?
will I feel anything if I no longer see him?
will it still hurt?
will he remember me?
am I ready to move on?
will I have to?

I hate that I feel all of this...
our futures hold such opposing views, how can it ever work?
he wants to find a wife, have kids, and work a 9-5 job.
he knows what he wants, and he'll succeed in getting it.
I want to see the world, to change it...
I have no desire to settle down any time in the near future.
I know what I want, and I'll succeed in getting it.

so why do I care so much about him?
he'd be happier without me.
we're better off as friends.
we'll always be, better off as friends...